Thursday, October 9, 2008
Current Struggles
Sadly... I've spent a lot of time on the phone with my mom and talking to my roommates this semester... When grading, I am frequently overcome with self-doubt and exasperation as I struggle to gain confidence in my ability to fairly grade and to give good comments, and to strive to do better. It is hard for me to grade, to feel like I am qualified to tell someone how they did. There is still so much that I am learning as a writer myself, so how can I claim to know what is wrong with someone's paper? So I call people who I know will be objective, and they can tell me if my comments seem fair and helpful. I guess I still am pretty dependent upon feedback. After reading this last article on error, my mental block only grew. I am definitely not a natural at grammar. I can write it pretty well, but no one should ever ask me to diagram a sentence or to take a comma test. (I got nervous when I had to take the one at orientation). This is probably why I spend so much time focusing on content in my comments- it's what I'm actually slightly confident in. Today's discussion was really helpful to me because it addressed many of the issues that I struggle with regarding grammar (besides me low esteem in dishing out the grades). How much grammar should I myself know? How much should I emphasize it to the students, in the comments and in the classroom? These are questions that I cannot presently answer... I do not know if it's ok that I put all my grammar comments at the bottom because I figure that it's the least important part. I hope it's ok that I usually only tag 3-4 grammar errors per page. Is it ok that I do not emphasize these grammar elements in my comments, but I do expect the students to turn in drafts that have minimal errors? I think that I do not emphasize the grammar elements because I think that students should be able to edit their papers by the time they get to college, and it's not my job to be an editor... Maybe it's more of my job than I am realizing. However, the one thing that I do think that I have realized is that I will have to study up on the grammar hand book before I teach. I need to be able to fully explicate dangling modifiers and all those other terms to students one day... I would like to be able to learn the lessons fully to be able to use mnemonics or something clever in helping them in daily lessons in the classroom. Maybe that's a summer project.
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3 comments:
Do not lose heart! We are all (or at least me; I shouldn't say all) struggling through this. I think the pressure is something that I'm having the toughest time dealing with. These kids are paying tuition, some of them are depending on this class to graduate, so our judgments can have a tremendous effect. This can be paralyzing at times, especially when we have a "less than ideal" teaching situation with the unfamiliar system that shoots essays and commentary out into the void of cyberspace.
Stephanie,
I really enjoyed your post this week. I too admit that I often have a difficulty weighing grammar in the overall outcome of the grade. If the basic ideas are there but the errors are seriously distracting, it can be disheartening to give a low grade, but one that, at least according to the rubric, may be called for. It sounds like you're doing a good job by getting some outside feedback. Keep up the good work.
Karen
I'm afraid nothing gives you confidence about grading other than.....
Grading!
You get to know what an "A" paper is simply by gut feel. Same for a "C".
But right now, you still have the gut feeling...but you don't trust it (and it's now always consistent). So checking is good. As is talking w/ your grading group. And your supervisor.
But try trusting yourself a bit, ok?
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